Okay, so I’ve criticized online dating before as a waste of time… but my ego has been a little bit bruised lately after some stuff I don’t really want to get into. (Let’s just say I’ve been barking up a wrong tree??). So what the hell, I may as well throw my hat into the ring, right? It can’t hurt, can it?
Anyway, so I have this profile on match.com, right? Only, the problem is, it pretty much sucks. Probably because I don’t really believe in Internet dating and haven’t spent much time on it. Also — and this is humiliating to admit, because I sort-of am a “professional writer,” I mean it’s part of my job — I am terrible at writing a personal profile and describing myself. But I thought I would turn to my readers for help. I mean, y’all know me a little bit by now, right?
So I have created a wiki with my personal profile on it. If you know how Wikipedia works you know how this goes: just click edit and type what you want. I promise I’ll use whatever people come up with by the end of the week, no matter how silly or ridiculous, unless it’s actually dishonest.
When was the last time you dated someone who only had “some college”? You aren’t in your 20s anymore going after the college kids (which you didn’t do in your late 20s anyway) Of course, education levels aren’t deal breakers, but I would put the limit at Associates or BA. If someone hits everything else and for whatever reason only has “some college”, I don’t think that will stop them.
Can’t believe you don’t get more hits. That is a good picture at least.
But to look serious about meeting someone through this you need to have more than a paragraph.
Yeah, I agree with Tallman’s last line. Put a little more of your personality in there. We girls write mouthfuls because that way we let you know what you’re getting before you write to us. Maybe add “intelligent” in addition to fit because I know that’s something that matters to you (most people consider themselves intelligent anyway, but at least they’ll know that that is important to you.)
Oh, but what you wrote is pretty good. It’s still more than a lot of guys write. I think women and men look at this thing differently. Guys kind of just like to “be” without describing who they are. I can’t really blame them, but on an on-line thing, you have to do that. It’s still hard to give someone the right sense of you on paper sometimes anyway, and sometimes easy to give the wrong sense. on-line dating isn’t perfect, but no matter of meeting people is.
I don’t know you well enough to add to the wiki thing, but from occasionally reading your blog, I’d suggest adding some more cerebral and social aspects to the profile. It seems like you’re taking a long time to say “physically active.” In a longer profile, that amount of information might be the right ratio.
Another thing it feels like you’re casting too wide a net. Personally, I think that is one of the many reasons that online dating is a poor way to meet people.
In real life, of course you want to be open minded – like the issue Tallman brings up. But reading that list of what you’re looking for gives me the impression of you entering the room and announcing “Hello? Anyone? Anyone will do!”
I think it’s better to give the impression that you’re turning to match.com because you can’t meet someone specific, rather than because you can’t meet someone in general.
I’d use a new picture. Looks like you are playing pocket pool with your hands in your pockets. Also your Meat and Potatos diet is going to turn off all the hot vegetarians out there.
If you ask me, match.com sucks. And no matter what anyone claims, it’s all about the photo. You have great photos on your blog and flickr, by the way!
I know you quite well. You’re confident and not at all reluctant to espouse on all things Derek — why should writing a profile be any different? Here’s my humble wordsmithing, based on years of travelling up and down mountains and running marathons across the country with you:
“What you see is what you get: I am an athletic, cerebral, hard-working, easy-going, witty kind of guy who works as a journalist by day (and night). I spend lots of free time relaxing and enjoying the good life by training for marathons and hiking up mountains here and abroad (my family hails from New England and New Zealand). I am a sports lover who grew up in north of Boston, so my emotions are intertwined with how the Red Sox do. You have to be passionate about something in life — sports is up there with family, exercise and travel for me. I have a big family with [four?] brothers and a sister, so I travel to see them consistently, in New Zealand and in the U.S. Still I love living in such a great big city and I really try to appreciate all it has to offer, especially running in Central Park and visiting the many fine establishments in Hells Kitchen (my hood). And reporting news from all over NYC has exposed me to many fascinating sides of the city on a daily basis.
Basically, I am hoping to find a kindred spirit who is interested in some of the above to compare notes, share stories and contemplate new adventures. While you never really know who you’ll click with and who you won’t on paper, and while I’m very opinionated on some things, I’m pretty humble, opened minded and get along with most everyone. So I’d welcome meeting someone athletic who wants to go for a run or a bike ride or just sit over drinks (or better yet, run/bike and then drink!) to talk adventure travel, sports, the news, whateva.
For fun: I hang out at gay bars.”
I agree with the Beast; you must have lots of marathoning and hiking pix to use.
Okay that is a great profile Dylan. I have sent it for approval. Thank you. Oh and of course many great pics, including the one of us ice-climbing.
If anyone wants to edit the Wiki and try to approve on that, I have fixed it.
[…] It is actually pretty funny that — as some of you mighta surmised from some of my posts — I’ve actually been putting an awful lot of energy into dating for awhile now. Basically it was pretty much my No. 1 priority for the good part of the last year and a a half, since my breakup with S. Then finally I broke down and decided to give online dating another chance with a profile my friend Dylan wrote. The second girl I met on Nerve.com was Soccer Chick (henceforth, I think I’ll call her C.) and we clicked immediately… it was soooo easy. Like, stunningly so. […]
Killer post. I thought you might like an NY Times article on the mystery method. I put the link in the URL field. 🙂