So I’m working a 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift this week. As I’m leaving my six-story walkup this morning around 10:40 I see three black teenage girls sitting in the vestibule where I get my mail. I exit and one of them catches the door as I leave.
“Thank you…” one of them says in a melodious voice.
“I’m sorry, I don’t…” I start to say. I could have guided the door closed. Once someone did that to me, some Jewish guy as I visited a friend on the UWS. “I’m sorry, I don’t know you,” he told me.
But do I really want to be that guy? I mean I consider myself half-black myself. And I hold the front open for people all the time. Mostly they are my peers: professional-looking folks (almost entirely whites and Asians) who are fumbling with their mail key. And folks also hold the door open for me from time to time.
So I bite my tongue and leave, watch them scurry inside my building. They can’t be doing anything wrong in there, right? They certainly aren’t robbers; these are teenagers. They must be visiting a friend, right?
Unfortunately I got home tonight to see vandalism on my stairwell. It’s nothing a fresh coat of paint won’t fix … but my trust won’t be repaired so easily.
So to those three girls, I just want to say: FUCK Y’ALL for living up to my worst stereotypes. You stupid effing bitches. I trusted you, and you let me down.
And posting it on the Net gives them more exposure then they coulda hoped for … But my condolences that this would happen to what is essentially your home.
well, that sucks! but you could have just pointed out that they were teenage girls, not necessarily black girls.
personally, i bet an old geezer snuck in and did that.
But their race is kinda an essential part of the story. Because when I first saw them, I was suspicious.
Then, not wanting to be perceived as racist, I second-guessed myself and didn’t block them from entering. (I only had a split-second to make this decision, obv.)
But looking back, they clearly were suspicious. I mean, sitting down in a vestibule? They obv. weren’t waiting for someone to buzz them in. And I don’t think anyone else in my building is black, or a teenager, so they probably weren’t anyone’s nieces.
I’ve thought about this and I honestly can’t really say how I would have reacted if they were white teens. Would I been suspicious and acted on those suspicions? (I.e., blocking the door and saying, sorry, you gotta wait for someone to buzz you in). Or would I just have blithely let them walk in? Or did the same thing I did with these girls? I really can’t say.
Why do you say that you “consider yourself half-black.” Either you are or you aren’t, right?
And, are you absolutely sure those girls did the grafitti? You shouldn’t denigrate them by calling them “bitches” based on your assumption and what appears to be your anger for not standing up to them. We’ll have to have a chit-chat about this tonight.
test
“Why do you say that you “consider yourself half-black.” Either you are or you aren’t, right?”
Wrong. The entire concept of ethnicity is pretty subjective. Look at how the U.S. has historically dealt with biracial people (“one drop of black blood”) vs. Latin America and the quadroons and octoroons.
I wrote more about this here
And yeah, I’m certain the girls did the graffiti. And I’m mad because they betrayed my trust.
That was an interesting post. Back in 2000, Erin Texeira of the Los Angeles Times wrote a series on going back to to C.V. that discussed race. Check it out on lexis/nexis or factiva.
Someone doesn’t have to be black for you not to let them into a building they don’t have a key for.
But if you walk out and they catch the door after you before it closes, it’s a little bit confrontational to tell them they can’t come in.
Tough shit: It’s NYC. If you don’t have a key, you don’t get in. Thems the rules and those ebony beyotches know it too.
But if you’re walking into your apartment building and there’s someone behind you coming in — maybe a professionally-dressed woman in a skirt and heels — do you really demand to see her key? Or do you just hold the door for her?
(When I was a reporter, I had to get into a lot of apartment buildings to talk to neighbors. I’d just follow people in, mostly. Lots of them would hold the door open for me. I think they realized, because of my appearance, that I wasn’t some hoodlum.)
Go with your gut. Your gut told you trouble. You didn’t recognize them and they were young. That’s always trouble. The race aspect of it is admirable for you to think of but in the end, go with your gut.
“maybe a professionally-dressed woman in a skirt and heels.”
Haven’t we moved beyond race by bringing this into the equation?
Don’t we all judge people by appearances when it comes to stuff like this?
Looking back at it I’m sure my suspicions were aroused not so much by race as the totality of the circumstances, including the fact they were three teenagers. But then I worried that I was reacting because of their race and second-guessed myself.
Very Sad. You say don’t believe what you did, but your subconscious did the opposite.
“So to those three girls, I just want to say: FUCK Y’ALL for living up to my worst stereotypes. You stupid effing bitches. I trusted you, and you let me down.”
Yeah, you admitted what you did, perhaps because they were indeed what you thought they were. I don’t know you, but prejudice resides in everyone.
You may not be racist, but prejudice, yes indeed…
And to think you’re a Red Sox fan, and I was just coming to exchange links. I’ll pass…
Ehh, no thanks either. I am not really into exchanging links with self-righteous pricks.(UPDATE: Anthony and I have “kissed and made up” over email).I do agree with what you said: prejudice resides within everyone. I never tried to deny that at all. This post was meant to be an honest exploration of that fact.
You Internet geeks (more Tony than you Derek) really have an inflated sense of self. You shoulda just deleted his remarks and ban him. The ego of that “to think i was gonna exchange links” comment. What a frigging freak. FREAK I say.