Discovered via Facebook two blogs from my college friend and editor, Jessica Z. One is “Fat Girl to Triathlete“. She was always this hot little ticket in college but I guess afterwards at one point weighed 189 lbs. at 5-foot-3. Anyway Jess is now an Ironman (-woman?) triathlete and dedicated meal-tracker (and mother of two who looks great). She has a great post about her newfound confidence about confronting some jerks on a bike, but it’s this entry on her other blog that I’ll share with you:
One of the things that has always been so important to me about raising children is to raise them without gender stereotypes.
As such, until my kids were old enough to ask for the toys they wanted, I always bought them gender-inspecific toys: nature puzzles, blocks, games, and so on. The Girl didn’t have a single doll until she was over two!
What I didn’t realize, though, was that it wouldn’t matter. My son would turn sticks into guns, and my daughter would be indoctrinated into the world of Disney Princesses before they could talk in complete sentences. And they’re totally gender-stereotype-identified: The Girl won’t wear something if it’s not pink (even the cutest pink camoflauge-style skirt drew a “That’s boy stuff!” from her), and The Boy once asked for a doll – but a boy doll – then proceeded to return the doll and the extra clothes it came with and only play with the doll’s motorcycle.
So, okay. The toys they play with and the clothes they choose to wear are going to reinforce gender stereotypes. I think I have to live with that.
But I can still set an example for them of how women can do anything. Although as a society we’ve come a long way in the last 30 or so years, we’re still not at a point where I believe women are seen as equals to men – and the only way we’ll get there is if we teach our children to expect that they are.
Every day, I go to work for a software development company. My team is more than 90 percent men. And both of my children notice that when they come to visit me in the office – and they see how I’m not the administrative assistant or a traditional “female” role, but instead a project manager leading teams of (mostly) men.
I’m proud to set that example for them. But last week, something else happened that I didn’t really expect that made me even more proud.
We were sitting around the breakfast table, and The Girl was upset because she didn’t understand about this moving thing – she thought she would have to leave her pretty princess bed behind. I explained that when we move, we take all of our furniture with us. But that didn’t calm her down. Instead, she then said, “But it’s so heavy! We’ll have to get Daddy to move it!” I was about to reply in the affirmative, just to calm her down and get her to finish eating, but The Boy jumped in.
“No, Mommy can move your bed! She’s an Ironman!” he said.
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