Best line from the 9,000-word piece:
I once wrote that the Roger Clemens Era in Toronto was like dumping a girlfriend, then watching her lose 15 pounds, get breast implants and join the cast of “Baywatch.” Well, for me personally, the Manny-Dodgers Era has been like the Clemens scenario, only if she made a sex tape with my best friend and moved into my apartment building so I had to see her every day … and for some insane reason, I feel happy that she’s doing well. I am a mess. I’m not gonna lie.
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