awwwwwg

So my editors have decided to torture me.

Esquire is holding a “Search for the best dressed real man in America” event at Macy’s today.

They think it might be fun for someone to go to the event and write a first-person story about it. Unfortunately, that someone is me.

Are you well dressed? Are you really well dressed? Might you be the best-dressed actual human male in the whole U.S. of A.?

We’ll be the judge of that. Throughout the spring and summer, Esquire will be hosting events in 10 cities*… and we’re inviting you to show up and be considered. … At these events, a panel of Esquire editors will narrow the contestants down to five finalists, who will be featured in the September issue, and then, early that month, the winner will be decided, live, on the Today show.

Note: We advocate no particular style of dress. We are simply asking that you show up looking your best.

Now … this thing is this evening. I went to work wearing black jeans, not-exactly-dress shoes, and a somewhat wrinkled blue Old Navy dress shirt. And a Red Sox cap. I don’t think I look terrible, but am certainly not “looking my best.” (They said the reporters wearing ties did not look like “real men.”)

UPDATE: I have convinced them that I’d be making a fool out of me to make me compete in a best-dressed man contest as-is. I now have a small budget to buy new clothes, but have to find a stylist-type to take me shopping on extreme short notice.