One of my readers left a few comments accusing women of being mostly interested in money when it comes to dating. I certainly don’t think this is so but thought I would devise a quiz for my female readers if they feel so inclined to take it. Thanks to Finy, Bex and Alexis for helping devise the questions.
Would you rather marry… Two guys are vying for your attention at a party. Would you rather flirt with an…
- an attractive photograher who makes $55,000 a year (pictured), or a fat banker who makes $550,000? (Say 40-50 pounds overweight)
- a guy with a great job who’s boring in the sack, or a guy with a boring job who’s great in the sack. Say the executive producer of a national network news program (who you can’t train to be any better) versus a guy with a decent-yet-unimpressive job who’s your sexual soulmate.
- a guy your age who earns the same as you, or a guy 15 years older who makes triple your salary.
- an investment banker with a penthouse apartment on Central Park and $20 million net worth who is emotionally distant; or a novelist with a regular apartment and salary who is absolutely devoted to you
- a bond trader who makes $700,000/yr who never went to college and doesn’t read books, newspapers or magazines, or a professor who makes $70,000/yr.
- a corporate lawyer who earns $300,000 but works 70-80 hours weeks or or a freelance magazine writer earning $60,000 who works 40 hous a week on a flexible schedule
Ok, I know I’m biased here for obvious reasons, but the answer to each and every one of those questions is the same: who do I fit better with. Sure physical attraction matters, but more so at the start of a relationship. A guy could be totally hot and make a ton of money and be a complete asshole. I wrote this about a year ago for my blog and it still applies:
“The more you talk to someone the easier it is for them to become less, or more attractive. For example, you see a hot guy standing at the end of the bar. You exchange looks, he sends over a drink. You graciously accept and he comes over to say hello. Within minutes of talking to him you realize the guy is dumb as a rock. Or arrogant as hell. Or worse, BOTH. You have been immediately put off of any steamy bedroom fantasties involving the two of you and start to wish you had stayed home with a good book or a Sex and the City DVD.
The reverse is also true. A typically average guy approaches you at the bar. Kind of dorky, not really all that cute, but in the course of conversation you feel yourself engaged, laughing, intellectually stimulated. And you start to wonder if there’s a sexual animal hidden under that sweater vest.”
Same holds true even in long term relationships. At least for me, the emotional contingent means much more than the amount of money someone makes, what they do for a living, etc.
That is a bullshit way to avoid the quiz Finy. Imagine these guys were all completely the same in every other respect.
Well this photog guy is clearly gay .. so I’d go for the “fat” banker. Can always change his ways, as we women do. The answer is easy on that one. I’m bored with the rest of this … It’s all about the comfort and money. Sex will get boring no matter what. Find me a couple 5, 10 years into their marriage that are hot heavy and orgasmic. Difficult. Will always have orgasms over material things. But the gay guy is cute…
Sigh … fine.
1. The photographer.
2. boring job guy
3. the guy my age
4. impossible to choose as a novelist with a “regular” salary doesn’t actually exist. Though he’s the one I’d go for.
5. the professor
6. freelance writer
now go ahead and explain to me why my answers are bullch*t cause I know that’s what you’re going to do 🙂
are we allowed to further inquire about these hypothetical “men”, or is this all the info we get? it’s very rare i’d choose to marry someone based solely on one sentence about them.
like if the hot photographer had really gross feet, i’d go for the fat banker. and it’s probably safe to say if i went to exciting job dude, i could find me an exciting bedroom dude on the side.
you see? there’s not enough information here.
Derek, this is a bullsh*t quiz.
Except for the first question — there have actually been studies that suggest that while people generally marry someone that ranks similarly to them in terms of physical attractiveness, extenuating circumstances (like money) do skew the trend.
The others are all dependent on personal preference before the money even comes into play. Your quiz is heavily weighted to assume that the ideal man for every woman (again, money notwithstanding) is sexually adventurous, the same age, “sensitive,” well-read and has oodles of time to devote to her. Not every woman is the same, and not every woman wants every one of these things.
1. Photographer, if all other things are equal. And you’re not trying to say that $55,000 is not a lot of money, are you? If he was earning $25,000 I’d still pick him unless the banker was more creative and had a better sense of humor and was kinder.
2. Guy with interesting job
3. Hmmm, tough one. Age doesn’t matter too much, depending on their personality.
4. Oh, completely the second one.
5. Professor. And professor is making a ton of money anyway. Should have put $30K or something.
6. The latter. But the former could be interesting too.
Should have made the salaries lower and higher, like $30K vs. $1 million.
sigh, too many questions with similar differences! i thought we were just going to go with looks vs. money and hot/bad sex vs. ugly/excellent sex. no?
i agree with finy, there are a lot of variables to consider. there are certainly people who i’ve been extremely attracted to who would not be considered attractive to many. and i find myself unattracted to a lot of “cute” guys. so anyway, onto the superficial answers:
1. photographer – arty is sexy
2. sexual soulmate
3. i don’t really care about age. most guys my age are too immature though.
4. novelist
5. professor
6. i say the writer, but i always seem to end up attracted to lawyers.
i think Sempre Libera summed up my thoughts on this pseudo-quiz the best.
okay okay maybe this wasn’t a very good quiz. Oh well. But no Finy I was not going to pick on anyone’s answers. I was just trying to demonstrate to Alex that people really didn’t care as much as he thought about the $$$.
Sempre, there were no “right” answers here, just preferences…
1. Is the overweight banker funny, nice, compatible and just have alittle around the middle? I’d choose him.
2. Neither.
3. Not enough info. Is the person older nice, funny, compatible, easy to talk to? Is the person my age those things?
4. Novelist
5. Professor, providing he’s good natured, compatible, etc.
6. Depends on who’s more compatible. If they were equal, which is highly unlikely, the lawyer.
would y’all rather get stamped to death by elephants, or eaten by tigers?
Well, you were trying to show that women aren’t just interested in money, weren’t you? So the choices were such that the “ideal” was always pitted against the money…
In any case, I choose elephants ’cause then it’d be over quicker.
Well they were honest questions, I don’t know if I had any particular expectations. You might be right, maybe I should have just asked the first question. Some were things I was just curious about for various reasons. Anyway, moving on…
The more you say about women, the more I’m convinced you have a pretty narrow view of our gender. Sempre Libera summed it up perfectly.
You think? Which among those guys didn’t you like? The one who was good in bed? The guy who was “absolutely devoted to you?” Do women not appreciate men who are well-read or have time to devote to her?
Well well well. never thought my feet would be discussed when i gave permission to have my pic used. oh well. my feet rock!
MK
I’d rather get stomped by elephants.
Okay, I’ve changed the question. From marriage to flirting at a party. Because sometimes you do have to make split-second decisions on who to go for based on very little information.
Eat by tigers, definitely. Sure, it comes with it’s moment of stark terror – both options do – but at leats it’s a cool kind of stark terror. And from the survivors’ POV, “eaten by tigers” sounds like maybe I was stalked and ambushed while out in the savannah on safari and died struggling for my life, perhaps even sacrificing myself to save others…. “stomped by elephants” just sounds like the victim did something stupid at the circus.
I’m really glad to see these responses, considering I don’t make as much as even the lowest paid guy on your list!
Bingo Kath; that’s why I never went beyond one date with him.
with me? not sure who you are but don’t really think I’ve ever dated anyone named Anna. Anyway, as my friend Alexis said (who helped me with the quiz) these are no more facile than anything you’d read in some women’s magazine. And they were questions, not statements … if I knew the answers I wouldn’t have asked them. But I will certainly admit I am still figuring out women.
so honored to have inspired a survey!
derek, neither of us is insecure about his looks nor about his success with the ladies. to recognize women for who they have become – that is, the differential separating the potential given to them by g-d and the corruption to their soul induced by feminism, materialism and the many other gomorrah-esque effects of living in manhattan circa 2006 – is not to be somehow frustrated. quite the contrary, understanding women as they are is key to winning the chase. perhaps that’s why one of us keeps running and the other realizes the futility of setting destinationless goals, whether measured by 26 miles or in salary ranges or pant sizes or belt notches.
still, it’s fun reading the comments.
Yes, I was going to say, “tough crowd!” I’ve never seen people respond so dramatically to having been polled!!! I just hope those poor kids at Quinnipiac never accidentally get the phone numbers of the respondents here. I don’t profess to have any religion, but if I did, one tenet would certainly be, “Asking questions is good.” So what if they’re silly questions, or could be tweaked? That’s how we all learn about each other, no?
What about throwing in a guy with a small penis who makes $20,000 but is really creative vs. a rich guy with a big schlong?
I’d pick the first, incidentally.
Oh Alexis, just date him already.
yo, random girl…. i’m single! 🙂
Easiest. Quiz. Ever. I think you can guess my answers, given my previous comments. Let me know if you need clarification.
What bee got under your bonnet, Anna?
Elephants, people, elephants. Tigers mauling you to pieces is just a rough way to go.
What bee? WHAT BEE? The one that has been suggesting I may be too old, too fat, too damaged goods, too dreggish to be loved. That bee. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Awww, there’s someone out there for everyone. I’m not going to apologize for being honest, but you shouldn’t care about what I say too much.
P.S. Also I do want to point out that I did state very clearly that I thought there were “good people out there at any age,” I just worried that they got harder to find after a certain age. I know that post pissed a lot of people off, but it’s a distortion of my words to read it as a slam against any one person.