Given the nearly inert state of this blog these days, I have decided I will share yet another of my keen observations about women. To wit: stubby fingers are a sign of insanity.
As I am not a doctor, I can’t discourse on the precise medical causes behind this phenomenon. I believe that stubby fingers are a symptom of a thyroid problem, which causes hormone imbalance and therefore leads a woman to be nuts, but I can’t elaborate much beyond that. Nor can I explain why the stubby fingers-insanity theorem doesn’t hold for men, although in my observation it does indicate Down’s syndrome or homelessness. But anyway.
The fact remains, women with stubby fingers tend to be loopy. I clearly recall my ex’s best friend, who had stubby fingers and needed to take Ritalin or she’d get topless in public. There was C, my college girlfriend, who had stubby fingers and claimed to be a fruitarian but only ate peanutbutter and ice cream. She later moved to Madison and became a lesbian. I’ve discussed this with other men who, privately, admit that they have noticed this connection too. Because I am a journalist, however, I’ve decided to go public here.
I should hasten to add, the woman who has currently set my toes wiggling has long, normal, healthy attractive fingers. I’m hoping she’ll marry me.
I look forward to your comments.
[Note that this post was written by guest-blogger themofo… -dmr]
As someone who has known The Mofo for years. I can attest to the general wackiness of the women in his life including but not limited to C.
I will not speculate on the fact that not only do they have wackiness and stubby fingers in common, but they also have dating the Mofo in common too.
Wait. C. is my girlfriend, who has not met the Mofo. If you want to refer to another woman in The Mofo’s life you’ll have to find another initial for her!
I just know that when and if I ever propose to a girl, I won’t do it through this blog!
My C was the real-life inspiration for the character Andrea on 90210– yes, really– and it should be noted that the actress on the show also had stubby fingers.
Gee, and we were hoping for another wedding in the family!
aaaandrea was a real goody-goody … mofo, i’m surprised you’d go for someone like that! tell us more!!
hey! I disagree! I have long, skinny fingers, and I’m totally out-of-this-world MAD CRAZY!!!!
I should add, women with stubby fingers tend to be stubby in general– not fat, but definitely short and plump. Sometimes that can be attractive, but the insanity, not so much.
Mofo, do you think the same theory holds true for men with stubby fingers?
My theory that stubby fingers in men indicates homelessness does hold up; I saw one on the T today. Stubby.
Of course, I suppose another question is whether men with stubby fingers are also stubby… elsewhere.