todd in ny mag

My friend Todd Seavey was featured in a story in NY Magazine:

Editor Todd Seavey, 36, is vehemently opposed to having children. He feels so strongly about it that he had a vasectomy at 26. “If I bring it up on the first date, it can be off-putting. If I bring it up a few months into the relationship, there are hurt feelings. Even waiting a week or so can result in the person feeling angry and betrayed. Basically, you’re doomed.”

He thinks the best tack is to bring it up before the first date, so there is no confusion. “But even if you bring it up in advance, go on at great length about your philosophical reasons, tell them you got a vasectomy you would never reverse, and tell them you’re more likely to convert to Christianity or communism than have children, women still think you’ll come around.”

Seavey has had one girlfriend he might have married if it weren’t for his feelings about children. “She rarely mentioned child-rearing. I was hoping that since my position was inflexible and hers was unstated, it meant that she was flexible. She wasn’t.” His current girlfriend, whom he’s been with on and off for two years, is as anti-child as he is. […]

There is one unintended benefit to going into the dating world with a Major Issue already in place: It makes you more flexible about other things. “It’s forced me to become diplomatic about everything else,” says Seavey. “I’ve gotten pretty good at overcoming political differences and religious differences. I don’t care too much if people disagree with me about those things. But kids are a deal-breaker because you can’t have half a kid.”

I guess his girlfriend wasn’t crazy about being labeled “anti-child.”