So as I listened to listened to everyone toast and roast Dylan at his wedding last weekend, I sorta wanted to say something myself. After all he is one of my best friends. However, I had nothing prepared, am not good at speaking extemporaneously nor that good at revealing my emotions. Plus, did everyone at the wedding dinner really want to hear another guy speak? Instead, I decided I would post a little tribute to my friend on my blog.
Dylan is one of those people whom I’ve not only enjoyed nearly every minute of his company, I’ve really grown from knowing. It’s Dylan who got me back into running after college, and Dylan who pushed me to take up marathon running. We’ve run marathons together in Boston, New Hampshire, Pittsburgh, Utah and Ohio. We’ve gone hiking in Montana, explored an snow cave in New Zealand, and oogled strippers in Las Vegas.
Dylan is also just a remarkable guy, if you know him you’ll know what I mean. He’s probably one of the most considerate, giving and loyal people I know. Not to mention driven, dynamic and charismatic. Maybe the biggest thing I’ve learned from Dylan is just being positive in nearly every situation. When you’re running 20 miles or going on an ardous hiking trip, the last thing you need is someone who whines about how their feet hurt. 
No matter how bad his blisters are Dylan will always be like, “I feel great!” and that’s what I aspire to, too. I remember going to Ohio in the late ’90s to support Dylan as he competed in his first Ironman Triathlon. Unfortunately fog came in while the swimmers were on the lake, and the event had to be canceled for safety’s sake. A lot of the competitors were pissed as they came out of the water, Dylan was laughing and was like, “hey, it’s the weather, what are you going to do about it?” I was like, yeah, that’s my friend.
Anyway, his wedding was v. impressive, as befits an impressive guy. Like I said, I’m pretty reserved when it comes to saying how I feel — Dylan wears his heart on his sleeve. He had these vows he had written himself (he actually declined to go bowling with the guys to rewrite them) where he promised to treat his wife as his best friend, his favorite biking partner, talked about lucky he was … I can’t really do the vows justice, but let’s just say Dyl broke down several times reading them, it was very touching. (I say this as someone who only cries at the death of loved ones, breakups of longtime relationships and after the 2003 ALCS).
So anyway. Mazel Tov, Dylan. It’s been a pleasure…
Yeah, super great guy. Just so positive a person. Great to be around in every situation.
The take away for me from this simple but far from skimpy wedding is spend less time on the wedding preparation and more time writing your vows. Especially if you are the guy. (And if you aren’t going to do your own vows, you might as well skip the wedding, because you basically have anyway.) For the wedding they made some choices that saved some money and simplified the wedding (examples, outdoors in a place where there was free parking on someone’s lawn; dj instead of live music; cupcakes instead of big cake; very simple wedding gifts) but the party was great. There was all the food and drink you could shake a stick at and we danced until we basically all couldn’t move anymore. But the best moment is the ceremony and the best part of the ceremony is the vows. I think it is especially moving to hear a guy profess his love for a women (somehow more so than the other way around) and Dylan did that very well. There wasn’t a dry eye watching the ceremony. And I know the vows, which cost nothing but some time and effort, are going to be the thing that the bride remembers best about “her special day”. Reaffirms to me that the wedding industry has gotten out of control and people aren’t always focused on the part that matters. These two got it right.
I agree that the wedding industry is out of control and that couples get themselves into a sick tizzy preparing, and then don’t have any fun. A wedding should be a celebration, not torture. And not disgustingly expensive either.
However, I always hated the idea of writing your own vows. If you love someone, you’ve hopefully already said it in millions of ways before the wedding – why do you have to make a great show of it in front of an audience, and re-say what you’ve hopefully already said? If I marry someone and have something to tell them, I’ll tell them without 100+ of our closest friends there to hear it in some dramatic poetic way. I just can’t imagine what I could say that wouldn’t have already been said by then, and if I did it, it’d seem like it’s just for show.
That said, I’d concede if the person I was marrying was really into vows, but I wouldn’t like it. Actions speak louder than words.
Another great one is taken ….where are all these good men?
To say I completely agree with every word Derek wrote would be a vast understatement. Dylan is indeed the most positive, loyal, and upbeat person I have ever met. He is also the most charming, loving, sensitive, and definitely the sexiest. And you should hear the man’s vows! I’m glad you boys enjoyed the wedding- we were very happy to have you there. As to those who can’t understand the writing and reciting your own vows with “100+ of our closest friends there to hear it in some dramatic poetic way” I can only say, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it! And if you can’t do it yourself, Dylan’s fantastic at it and I’m sure he’d give you a hand.
[…] From my friend Dylan’s wedding this past June… I guess I wasn’t smiling in this photo either. Hundreds more pics here. […]